I know he looks cute. But that’s precisely why the disguise is so genius. Who would ever suspect?

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

1. Good music can save your soul

2. A good laugh can save your life

3. Friends are family that we choose, so choose carefully

4. Breathing is the best way to live longer – don’t believe me, try not breathing, see how it goes

5. Your smile says more about you then your clothes, your car & your job combined

6. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all

7. Listen to other’s opinions, but make up your own mind

8. Take a nap…dream a little

9. Monkey’s are funny

10. Life’s short, eat dessert first

I’m very proud to report that Canada had the distinguished honor of receiving the ‘Fossil of the day’ award at the UN’s International Conference on Climate Change in Kenya this week. The title is awarded by the Climate Action Network to the country that is deemed to have contributed the least to progress during the talks. Wow! what an accomplishment. When the floods come, we’ll know who to thank.

So basically, as our supreme leader, Mr. Harper, pulls our country slowly but decisively away from the Kyoto Protocol, he also has no working alternative. If he did we would have had something to contribute.

Our planet is slowly burning up & no one seems to give a damn, least of all Mr. Harper. The last report from the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Control (IPCC) is a very depressing read, I don’t recommend it. Summed up, the world is getting warmer. Which when your a Canadian staring down the barrel end of yet another cold & miserable winter, doesn’t really sound so bad, actually, its pretty enticing. and if that’s all there was to it, I’d be out there with G.W giving the finger to the tree hugging hippies. Because its only November & I’m freezing my arse off already. But that is not all there is to it.
Global surface temperatures have risen 0.6 degrees Celsius. Snow cover has decreased 10%. The lakes & rivers in the North are frozen 2 weeks less a year. Non-polar mountain glaciers are in noticeable retreat. The global sea level has risen between 0.1 – 0.2 meters.

These changes cause floods, intense weather patterns, storms, droughts, & heat waves. With developing countries being the most vulnerable. Great, like they don’t have enough on their plate. It’s almost comical, that the countries who produce the least greenhouse gases are the very ones going to suffer the most because of them.

The World Wildlife Fund predicts that polar bears may be pushed to extinction by 2100, due to the ice melt. Caribou, Musk Ox & reindeer may find themselves pushing for space as well, as there habitat become smaller. Native American communities will also start to find there lands & way of life forever changed as the land & the animals change.

Industrial countries have been pumping out heat trapped greenhouse gases in an ever increasing amount since the 19th century. Isn’t it time we stood up & took responsibility for it. Before its too late & we all fry, if we don’t drown first, or get swallowed by a tsunami, or die of thirst.

I am 9 and fearless.
I think that inhibitions start in the double digits.
To be any age again, I would be 9.
Before I discovered that the moon is not the back of the sun & grandpas do not know everything.
Before the to-do lists took up an entire page.
Before the lattes & cell phones.
With dirty jeans & a pocket full of rocks off I’d go to conquer the world.
Forever 9.

I found an old shoe box yesterday. It was heavy, dusty & when I lifted it off the shelf the bottom suddenly gave way. Dozens of rocks, all shapes & sizes came crashing to the floor. I stared at the rubble then remembered in a burst. It was my rock collection. I had started to fill my pockets with treasure when I was very young. Too young to remember exactly when the fascination had begun. My grandfather had gone so far as to empty one of the utensil drawers in the kitchen so that I could sleep, sure that my loot was safe. At nearly 30 I still have the odd habit of picking up a pebble every now & again. I put it in my pocket & run my fingers over the cold surface all day, almost unconsciously. I think I find the solidity comforting.
Now, my rug was a mess. The downstairs neighbour had most probably cursed me to hell. It was still early in the morning. But there they were. Unchanged & still as beautiful as the day I had first picked, polished & possessed them, some 20 years ago.
Like running into an old friend, I made myself comfortable & we reminisced. To my surprise I realized I could remember the day I had discovered each one. The place I’d scooped it & the people I was with. A sort of scrap book in stone.
Some of them were still reddened from the ore that covered my island home. Others were perfectly rounded, years of being pounded by the North Atlantic. Some were not even rocks, they were glass, overpowered & made smooth. Old bits of the dynamite houses that were left abandoned to rot along with the mine in ‘66. One was actually a penny embedded in steel. And each one told a story. This simple box contained my life until the age of 10.
I am 9 and fearless. I think that inhibitions form in the double digits. If I could be any age again, I would be 9. Before I discovered that the sun was not the back of the moon & grandpas don’t know everything. Before the social rules weighed in. Before the to-do lists took up a whole page & ordering a coffee was more complicated then advanced calculus. With dirty jeans & a pocket full of rocks, off I’d go to conquer the world. Forever 9. That’s what I wished for sitting there on my floor, surrounded by my old friends.
I’m cleaning my closet on a Tuesday morning because I quit my job this morning. No explanation, no notice & certainly no apology. It took me all of 2 minutes to clear out my 4×4 cubicle & find a new home for Frank, my plastic (though lifelike) ficus. Maureen, with whom I shared a felt wall for 5 years, didn’t take her eyes off of me. I couldn’t quite figure if she was just shocked or if she was making sure I didn’t steal the stapler.
I walked out of there with my entire professional career jammed into a small packing box. I had made my way to the elevator when I realized that Maureen was by my side. “Good job, I’m so envious, I hate this place too. You take care & be happy”. And then she smiled. I wasn’t imagining it. She had smiled. 5 Years & I had never gotten so much as a good morning from my over worked, stressed out neighbour. As the elevator doors closed I suddenly thought I should have taken that stapler.
Life changes on a blink. That’s what I’ve learned these past few months. And if I’m not happy, why aren’t I happy? Since the phone call, all the things that seemed to matter, just don’t anymore. Work, deadlines, Frank, they all turned this shade of musty grey that I have to squint in order to focus on. With my eyes open, they’re just not there.
There is a tiny container clinging to the side of my broken box. It would normally hold a tooth. Mine, however, hides a small pebble. It was removed from my knee when I was 10. At the time I remember thinking this insignificant medical procedure was monumental. I insisted on keeping the rock of course. It had become embedded in my knee after I made a heroic dive after a fly ball down the middle. Only a week earlier that ball would have flown past me completely unchallenged. But my brother had spend 3 days with me in the back yard flinging fast balls at my head until I didn’t flinch. I had a glove & the key to the exercise was t teach me how to catch the ball while overriding my natural instinct to get the hell out of the way. “Don’t give up!” “Stop being so afraid!” “Go after it!” I rolled the speck around the small container & wondered what had happened. When had he changed his mind? What made him so afraid that he just gave up? And why hadn’t I seen the change? To be honest I must confess I had seen it. But I was afraid to be right & I let it fly past me unchallenged, silently hoping that the next person would make the play. Now I had to find a way to live with that decision.

I’ve got another one >ahref>http://www.wondercafe.ca/ Its a new site started by the United Church. They’re hoping to lure new followers, apparently their numbers have been dwindling. They have a whole new 3 year ad campaign as well, which by the way includes a squirrel. That’s really all I have to say about it, they have a squirrel.
I love these people. I’m not a member of the church, I’m not even religious in that weekly sort of way. But I watched the EZ Squirrel video & saw these campaigns & laughed so hard it hurt. Actually, I think I peed a little, just between you & me. A bobble head Christ!!! I don’t care who you are, that’s funny! And I want one. More than just funny, they’ve got people talking. 2 days ago I could say with relative certainty that I had had about…Oh, I don’t know, ZERO conversations about the United Church in my life time. I’ve had 2, just today.
How much fun does sex have to be before its a sin? That’s genius. I want to shake the hand of the person who came up with this campaign. I hope they got paid well. I mean a church actually using laughter instead of fear to convert the masses is revolutionary (I cannot believe I just used that word to describe a church). But it flies in the face of all things pious. I mean aren’t we suppose to be solemn & timid. Walk around with our heads bowed looking at our footwear. And God forbid if we should ever dare to ask a question (logic has nothing to do with religion). Because this campaign is not only funny, its debatable. They are actually encouraging people to talk about the issues.

You have no idea how many days I spend in the corner of my Roman Catholic classroom because I asked an “inappropriate” question. Until I finally realized, about half way through the school year, that all questions were “inappropriate” to Sister Madeline. And to be a “good” catholic meant to sit quietly & on occasion, nod & smile. Needless to say Sister Mad & I did not get along so well & the corner is not really such a bad place when you consider the mindless alternative.

It’s also very smart from a marketing stand point. I think we all had it figured out by the time we were 7 that if we made mom laugh before we asked for the thing we knew she didn’t want to give us we had a better chance of getting it.

People are just more open to change & to new ideas when their happy. It’s not rocket science.

I know that no everyone is going to find these ads funny. The Bible thumpers will be out in full force, throwing around words like blasphemy & heretical, because heaven forbid anyone should (intentionally) laugh at religion.

I don’t care want anyone thinks, I love it, the whole concept. I mean really, when a Jehovah’s Witnesses knocks on your door at some God forsaken time in the morning you pretend your not home, admit it, you hide. But if he started telling a knock knock joke on your front porch, you’d open that door, just to hear the punchline. I know you would. I would.

Awesome show, Strombo beats Peter Mansbridge hands down (hard to believe its the CBC)!!!

Great site!!! He has some pretty cool links on there too, like Rick Mercer & Shaun Majumdar.

He’s not exactly hard on the eyes either.

http://www.strombo.com

Daniel Ortega, a former Marxist revolutionary, is back in charge in Nicaragua, 16 yrs after being ousted. Is this a good thing? I’m not entirely sure. His reputation is not exactly spotless. He was arrested for bank robbery in the late ’60’s, he was released in ‘74 in exchange for hostages. And he’s been accused of everything from corruption to sexual abuse.
Though, I must admit none of that really fazes me. When I think of how his re-election just urges the United States it makes me giggle inside. Also, the return of his party, the Sandinista National Liberation Front (FSLN), creates the possibility of real change, especially for Nicaragua’s poor.
To hear the United States tell it, they are the pinnacle of all things democratic. But they did all they could to once again tie the hands of voters in Nicaragua. Only this time they lost.
To the US conservatives the Nicaraguans are all going straight to hell, for having committed the greatest sin of all – electing a leader not in favor in the White House.
For those of you that don’t remember. The US imposed economic embargo’s on Nicaragua in the 1980’s. In the 1990’s they made it very clear that those embargo’s, as well as US funding to terrorist Contra forces, would continue if Ortega was re-elected. Those threats are thought to have played a major role in Ortega & the FSLN being pushed out of office in 1990.
During this years election the US went so far as to suggest that if Ortega were re-elected they would impose a block on all money being sent from Nicaraguan immigrants in the US back home to impoverished family members.
The US Ambassador to Nicaragua openly supported Ortega’s opponents, an act that violates diplomatic protocol.
The US Secretary of Commerce suggested that millions in aid given to Nicaragua from the US & hundreds of millions in US investment could be brought into question if voters were to elect the ‘wrong’ candidate.
Jeb Bush ran ads in Nicaraguan newspapers associating Ortega with international terrorism. These were not new stories, they were full page ads, bought & paid for.
This is not the first time the US government meddled in the affairs of Nicaragua. In ‘81 Reagan condemned the FSLN. He believed they were consorting with Cuba & the Soviet Union. The CIA began financing, arming & training rebel troops, known as the Contras, to overthrow the FSLN. The result – a civil war that claimed the lives of a estimated 60,000 Nicaraguans & made it impossible for the FSLN to rebuilt a country already in ruins.
I for one am proud of the Nicaraguans for voting their conscience & not allowing themselves to be bullied into voting for pro-US candidates. I don’t know if Ortega is the right person to lead Nicaragua & to rebuild the country. But really no one ever knows if their voting for the person who will inspire their nation or cause its downfall. Whether you live in Nicaragua or Canada, elections are a crap shoot. All any of us can do is educate ourselves about the real issues & go with God. When we watch elections, our own or someone elses, we often don’t agree with the outcomes (Bush would not have been my 1st choice..or 2nd..or 3rd). But if we believe & value our democratic ideals then we can’t simply dismiss them when they become inconvenient. That’s the problem with the US. That’s why country’s hate them. Because they try to instill rules & ideals in other country’s that they themselves don’t live by. And its infuriating. Its like being lectured about not smoking by someone with Marlboro hanging out the side of their mouth while they walk to the store to buy another carton.

The US often times reminds me of a spoiled child on a playground. Play the game his way or he’s taking his ball & going home. And I just love it when a country calls their bluff & lets them know that they can take their ball, they’ll play a new game or go get their own damn ball. You would think that the US would learn from their own history & stop meddling in the affairs of foreign & sovereign nations.

It’s time the US stop spouting off about the high & mighty ideals of their country & start living by them.

“You do not lead by hitting people over the head – thats assault, not leadership”.

Dwight D. Eisenhower